Traits

Many Vietnam traits are rooted in both the Confucian respect for education, family, and elders, and the Taoist desire to avoid conflict. Vietnamese tend to be very polite, avoid talking about feelings, and can endure hardship without complaining.

Traditionally, Vietnamese people list their family name first, then their middle name, with their first (given) name listed as last. Family members use different given names (first names aren't passed down), and their name always reflects some sort of meaning. Most names can be used for either gender.

The Vietnamese culture is concerned more with status (education) than with wealth. If one were to rank them in their importance, education would likely come first, followed by age and then wealth. Thua (meaning please) is added in front of the honorific name to show respect to elders. To show respect, Vietnamese will bow their heads to a superior or elder. In Vietnam, professions that are high status include doctor, priest, and teacher.

To address people formally, use Mr. or Ms. or a title plus the first name. Many may greet by bowing slightly. Usually, elders or higher ranking people are greeted first since they are the head of the family. To avoid confrontation or disrespect, many will not vocalize disagreement. Praising someone profusely is often regarded as flattery, and sometimes even mockery. Most people are very modest and deflect praise. Insults to elders or ancestors are very serious and often lead to severed social ties. Many will smile easily and often, regardless of the underlying emotion, so a smile cannot automatically be interpreted as happiness or agreement. Vietnamese often laugh in situations that other cultures may find inappropriate. Breaking a promise can be a serious violation of social expectation.

When inviting a friend on an outing, the person who offers the invitation usually offers to pay to the bill. During social gatherings, Vietnamese will often arrive late so as not to appear overly enthusiastic. However, they are punctual to appointments in professional settings. When giving gifts, often the giver minimizes the value of the item, even though it may be great. The recipient of a gift is expected to display significant gratitude that sometimes lasts a lifetime. On the other hand, Vietnamese may refuse a gift on the first offer, even if they intend to accept it, so as not to appear greedy. Speaking in a loud tone with excessive gestures is considered rude, especially when done by women.

Traditionally, children live with their parents until they get married, and then the couple moves to the husband's father's household. The extended family arranged marriage, but individuals were usually consulted on the choice of their mate. The typical engagement last six months, with little contact between the bride and groom prior to the marriage. Traditionally the marriage will be at one of the couples' homes. Men usually marry between 20 and 30 years of age, and women at 18 to 25 years of age. Women keep their maiden names legally but used their husband's name formally. In the U.S., most young Vietnamese date in the same way as other American youth, with two main exceptions: premarital sex and cohabitation before marriage are uncommon.

Divorce in Vietnam is considered shameful for the woman. A man is considered responsible for his spouse until death. In Vietnam, the husband is the most powerful member of the family who makes the major decisions and brings in the primary income. In the U.S., most young Vietnamese date in the same way as other American youth, with two main exceptions: premarital sex and cohabitation before marriage are uncommon. Vietnames believe that if a woman is financially dependent on her husband, divorce is unlikely. Some immigrant women are not fully adapted to life in America. Women who are unable to speak English or who do not know how to drive are especially dependent on their husbands. But, even if the woman is able to support herself, divorce will not usually be considered unless there is domestic abuse.